Malaise!

Hey guys, so sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I have been having a tough time....winter blues big time people...big time.  First of all, its cold up here in New Mexico, next Boss, my super handsome boyfriend is questioning our relationship saying something about my love of ham surpassing my love for him (can't I love both equally?!), finally, my side-job as local town detective (besides working at my grandmothers school spreading joy to children) is not going so well as the town has not seen crime since last summer...jeez what does a dog have to do to get a hot case around here?

Anyway, these events have lead to malaise, which has in turn lead to a lot of this: 

And also a lot of this: 

However, I am looking forward to spending time with the family in warm warm Puerto Rico soon:

Despite the fact I gain approx one million pounds every time I go to Puerto Rico due to high-level pork consumption, its one of my favorite places to be. Have a great day everybody!

Domino!

Hello dear readers!

I love cultures, all different cultures. From the blow-fish flavored chew toys of my boyfriend Boss' native country Japan (that's right! Its official!) to the tough, sled-toting and seal-blubber eating huskies of the north, I am always interested in learning about what makes us dogs different and special. So, I thought I would share with you a little bit about my own Cuban-American dog culture! Cuban-American dogs tend to like the following: giving unsolicited advice, being affectionate, dancing (please click here for a demonstration), pork, beach time, and of course......playing dominoes!!!

Here I am enjoying some quality beach time, also trying to see if I can spot any delicious floating sea food.

Here I am demonstrating some affection, baby cheeks are so soft!

Domines is a super fun game that you play with four people at a table. Your team member is the person sitting across from you, and let me tell you, it can get preeeetyyy high stress. As you can see in the picture below during one of our weekly domino parties, the stress is starting to get to me as I try and make my next move..I mean, look at how much I am sweating!

Below, I am making my critical next move early on in the night, I forgot to bring my glasses to the domino party so it was kind of hard for me to see the tiles. 

1 AM, 10 espressos, and countless pieces of pork later, I make my trembly next move. I think that the caffeine from the coffee is starting to get to me as my ears start to vibrate:

3 AM, phew! Finally time for bed, I have wandered home, and I can't even remember how many games I lost and how many I won! In the end it doesn't matter, because really its all about pork, coffee, companionship,  and most importantly of all...talking tons and tons of crap to intimidate the other team.

So for those of you readers who have not heard a Cuban accent, I thought that the Cuban take (or Cubanismos) on the below english holidays would give you a good orientation:

Halloween: Tricotri  (i.e. Trick-or-Treat)
Merry Christmas: Meri Crisma
Happy New Year: Japi Nu Yier

Happy weekend everyone and buenas noches!

Love and Ham,

Jumbles

Crime!

Hello there dear readers, no time for love in this post because there has been a CRIME committed in my sleepy home town of Los Alamos, New Mexico. That's right! I couldn't believe it either! This event happened to be a bank robbery, but usually in Los Alamos, crimes of a spy-like nature are the norm, what with all the nuclear secrets and all...dun...DUN!

The local bank that was robbed, asked me to step in and investigate due to both my amazing sense of smell (I smelled two pieces of bacon in the other room just a second ago...see?!) and misleadingly adorable appearance (I can and will bite your ankle). Let me walk you all through my shift:

Below is me casing out the joint, always be on your toes, and never accept treats on duty, unless they are really really delicious. 

Another trick of the trade is to change your vantage point, such as standing on a chair. This also, incidentally, brings you closer to the complimentary lollypops the bank tellers keep at the counter and shows off your thighs to their best advantage.

It is also important...or muy importante as I say when I am underground infiltrating Mexican drug cartels, to also check those people who you least suspect. Here I am sniffing Mr. Green shirt bank employee for any suspicious items:

Ok, since they came up clean during the investigation, I decided to teach the tellers my patented 'play dead' survival technique which works to fool robbers, bears, and also sometimes gets you treats if you look adorable enough by hitting the right angle. 

Ok so this is just me checking out the different interest rates on savings plans...I just feel I am not making the most out of my savings you know? Also, look at my thighs, they are magnificent. 

All right readers, I gotta get back to my shift! See you next week!

Love and Ham,

Jumbles 

Valentines Day!

 Hello dear readers! Its that time of year again, Valentines day! I would encourage you all to share love and kindness with everyone you care about, maybe even give them a hug! I would do it too but my front paws are not equipped for it. My Valentines day has been full of some ups and downs. I went over to Sandwich's place to borrow a cup of bacon the other day (yah, I was never going to give it back, but he has plenty!). I did not find any bacon but what I did find was....

Here is the guilty as charged!

Sandwich snuggled up to another dog.......... j'accuse!  He can't be into both me and another dog...a dog with eyebrows no less! Anyway, I barked my mind and left in a bit of a huff.

Now that I have calmed down, I think I will forgive him...as long as he gets me that cup of bacon....

Sandwich with his mom, I don't think she has any idea what that dude gets up to

Anyway, don't feel too bad for me readers, I have some good Valentine's day news for you, my mom set me up on a play date with a Japanese exchange student named Boss. Despite the hyper-masculine name, he is a real feminist and very progressive. When I first met him I was a bit thrown off, I mean he kind of looks like a Tibetan Fox:

Tibetan Fox, so stoic, so square-headed

 But when I got closer I realized his head was less square and that he was super dreamy.

I was a bit nervous at first....as I thought he was a fox

 We got to talking though, and he told me about all of the awesome and advanced dog toys in Japan, man those guys are way ahead of the US on adorable dog toys. I mean...check this out:

The play-date when very well, I can't wait to see Boss again!

I couldn't help it, had to steal a kiss

And then our parents caught us.... busted!

Lots of love to you all dear readers!

Love & Ham,

Jumbles

Spa Day!

Happy Friday dear readers! Ok, so many of you may have noticed the fact that I looked a bit mop-like in my picture in the previous post. I thought that maybe I was just dehydrated from too much puppy-party time last weekend (I was grounded for a week by my mom for that by the way..I am so mad at Sandwich for keeping me out so late!) and that it had an impact on my fur. However, it turns out, I just really needed a haircut. After my mom ungrounded me, she kindly took me for a spa day with grandma and her dog-enthusiast friend, Irina.

Let me take you on a magic spa ride friends:

Getting groomed, I am the one in the back, there is some other fluffy white dog in the front trying to steal my thunder

Here I am cracking up the stylist with my 'two sausages and a ham' joke....classic.

Here I am with my mom and Irina, don't tell them, but I was totally checking out the receptionist's tail during this picture

After the spa we went to get some coffee, yes my non-American readers, Starbucks has a drive-through in some states! What the whaaa!?

 

Hello bacon latte!

Oh man, look at Catherine Heigl's hair!

I am lookin sooooo good, cmon, admit it

Hope you enjoyed a day in my life dear readers! Have a great weekend!

Love & Ham,

Jumbles

Worse for Wear!

Hello everyone! I hope that you had a nice weekend! One of the largest of the US's sporting events was this weekend, the Superbowl! For my non-US readers, this is the event where sports-enthusiasts anxiously watch their favorite football team either win or lose, and slip into depression or smugness accordingly. For us non-sports people, we anxiously wait to see what the half-time show entails in terms of outfits:

http://jezebel.com/5981372/beyonce-goes-ham-at-super-bowl-announces-imminent-world-domination

But for those of us here in doggie-world, a much more exciting event is the Puppy Bowl! Please see the link below for an adorable sample:

http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/puppy-bowl

However the puppy bowl is not without its sporting scandals!:

http://jezebel.com/5980936/the-most-shocking-scandals-of-the-2013-puppy-bowl/gallery/1

Anyway, Sandwich invited me to his place to watch the puppy bowl, have some doggie treats, and throw back some doggie margaritas.  Let me tell you, that Sandwich partys preeetty hard...this is how I feel today:

My mom was pretty upset with me as she had to feed me tiny advil and tiny sips of water. My hair looked like a mop and I had a pounding headache! I might have to call in sick to work at the school today..don't tell my mom!

I hope you all feel better than I do today dear readers!

Love & Ham,

Jumbles

Dating!

As I mentioned in my previous post, as part of my New Year's resolution, I will be trying to date more nice dogs. Last year was a bit of a disaster in that department. I dated a lot, but not a whole lot of quality in that mess! I went out with dogs who barked too much, dogs who didn't bark at all, dogs who ate too much ham, dogs who didn't eat enough ham, rich snobby dogs, dogs from the wrong side of the fence, and showy-off dogs.

Here is one of my dates with a total showoff....jeez, what a showoff

During my Puerto Rican holiday, I got asked out a couple of times while going on walks with my aunt (you know how these Latin dogs are). One of the dogs, Salchicha, a very enthusiastic chihuahua, was waaay to friendly (i.e. every time I turned around he was trying to sniff me), sometimes a girl just wants to sniff grass or an interesting lizard with out some guy all up in your business. Needless to say, I turned that guy down. Another dog, Goldie (as you can guess from the name he is a golden retriever), asked me out at the park but man, I am so tiny and he is so huge! I have the bad girl habit of advancing things in my head too fast, for example, if I marry Goldie, how weird will we look walking down the aisle? What if we have puppies? Will they have giant heads and little bodies? Or little heads and giant bodies? Or worst of all, huge tails and little bodies!!! Anyway, had to give that one a pass.

My friend from the park back here in New Mexico, Sandwich, has been coming over to bark with me a lot, I think he might be interested...anyway, will keep you guys posted! Have a great weekend!